A series of  writings by a queen of hidden realms.

The night brings in a tide like the moon. A swell of subconscious engulfs the mind, and we ride the waves, bandits free, embracing, feeling the bitter and sweet of the air. We are captives of it but we are also the gods of it. We fall, and then, the truth is revealed.

Our minds are fascinating things. The colors of the world are perceived and, reproduced by the synapses that fire, and still a fortress it sits within walls that have no real structure. A universe cannot contain its limits. The brain is what we can see but the mind? We can only conceptualize its full capacity. 

Is there a truth that you refuse to know? How would you be able to answer such a question without acknowledging the said truth? The answer is within the question. You cannot refuse a thing without knowing it is there to refuse.

 All of us have these rejected truths inside our personal fortresses. We were once faced with a truth. There was a hint, a glimmer that sparkled too bright in the eye. There was a hidden meaning in a thing that was said, felt. There was a mistake made, an inflection in the voice. At that moment we decided what our truth would be and we chose wrong. It’s not as simple as dissonance. It’s not as ridged as epistemic closure. It’s the choice to know and not know because of what’s easier and more comfortable for us to accept.

But when the night tide of sleep comes, what we see; the prefrontal cortex becomes less active and the unseen rushes in. Truth ignites before our minds eye. Dreams overtake us and we review the reality of what was cloaked in the shadow of our avoidance. The truth flows in over our defenses and when we return to consciousness the truth is there waiting for us to accept it or not.

Discoveries have been made as the mind succumbs to its unconscious state. Crimes have been solved and mysteries have unfolded. We have but to allow ourselves to fall asleep to unlock the truths we refuse to see. The question to ask yourself is what will you do when you wake up? Will you accept the truth that is revealed in the night? Or will you refortify your fortress?

It was one of those moments where the devil opens his mouth and God takes the  words he finds there  and gives them new purpose. 

"And you've come here where you have no friends. Remember that."  he said with the cunning of the old man himself.  He was right.

I see the last drawn-out days of the still light dawn. A crescent moon hides the face of the night, and I wonder who walks this endless road with me. There are those who stand with the trees, breathless and invisible. And there are those who would carry me on when my feet are worn and bleeding and there those who lie in wait and take up the rock against me. But I have no choice but to walk until the end for me comes. But there is no end to this road.

What is the rational, the logical, the cool-headed reaction to the loss of what one holds dear? How do I feign the champion in that arena. Hearts on the ground, blood soaked, one of them mine and yet I continue to fight. 

I saw myself out there with you, a beautiful day, winning, becoming half of a whole. Evolving into a beautiful thing. With you. We were friends. I thought. We were always meant to be. And I lost it all. Dead and defeated by the end of that same day. 

Now I’m the ghost. I pound on the glass. I hear the screams of the crowd but mine are silent, even to my ears. I hear your last words to me and I realize that I’m caught in the loop of my end with you.

An evolution cut short. The death of who I was with you. One more version cast into the stream. Like I thought, another piece of flotsam and jetsam of your life. Thrown away because of your loyalty to a story with a tragic end.